draft#1 suck it 25

The worst advice I've ever received:

If you don't know what to do, do nothing.

This is fucking impossible.

If you feel so strongly about something, that your veins pump it, and all you hear is that echo of your voice inside your head talking about it over and over and over and over...how do you do nothing?
How does your stomach not churn? How do you find pleasure in all the other things going on around you, if all you can focus on is this one thing?
I guess being an "adult" means you just are able to do it. Do nothing, that is. But, seriously? All I can do is throw a temper tantrum and revert back to being a dumb, over emotional, irrational, dramatic teenager.

I find that 25 is a lot like 15.
You become super insecure about your look, because you can't have jet black hair and hot pink pumps with some shitty dress you found at the Salvation Army on, that doesnt get you the professional high paying job you'd like. It also does not attract the investment banker, lawyer, or CEO you hope to attract to fuel your spending habbit someday. So, you wear the "right" and "appropriate" things, know the latest news to chat about, and you're so fucking misplaced and miserable! Which only leads to more insecurity, doubt (I mean jesus, what the hell are you doing with your life?), and you chose the only way out that you know of; go out and put your shitty used clothes on, grab a PBR at the dive bar where people your age are still listening to HATEBREED. You feel satisfied for the moment, even the week. You meet some cool new friends and decide you found your place again, your place in the past where hangovers are cool, and being thin because you're too hungover to eat is hot.

The only difference is, when you were 15...this DID actually make you cool.
Now, it just plain sucks.

So, should we do nothing? Or chose the other choice, the opposite of what we know, the most uncomfortable choice of all. Accept that you've changed, and that adulthood is exactly like being a child: you have to find yourself and your place ALL OVER AGAIN, it sucked then, and it will suck now, but maybe this time it'll last longer.