Atmosphere

Change your clothes, change your hair, change your diet, change your mind, change your wall color, change the channel. You cannot change the fact that you take yourself everywhere.

Our entire life consists of choices. We learn from the bad, and hope to make a better choice next time. They say only "crazy" people make the same choices and expect different results, but I think any one's capable of this.

In making my mind up to move away from everyone and thing I have known, to rewind and restart plans I had mad bad choices for in the past, I have realized that you can make the same decision (and it is a good one) and still get the same result. I was not expecting this. So who's crazy now?

If we take ourselves everywhere we go, how is anything any different?

In the past 3 months I have learned these things about myself:
1. Success is not measured on a piece of gold leaf imprinted paper; success is how you view yourself. Are you happy? Do you enjoy waking up each day and getting your tasks done? Are you enjoying your life as a whole? Can you support yourself? Are you healthy? Do you feel satisfied with what you have? Do you have goals? If so then you are a true success.
2. I do not feel these things right now.
3. Anything you want in life, you can usually buy. Or find a guy to buy it for you. The things that make you a success you can take with you; memories, feelings. Everything else is just stuff.
4. While there are people worse off than myself, all I have to go on are my own experiences. So if I feel pretty bad, then it is bad. It's the kind of bad only I know, and that's OK.
5. You are not a miserable person if you allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you are feeling. You are only miserable if you carry on for days. If you allow yourself to feel, the sooner you can swing back to reality.

Marginal Cost V.S. Marginal Benefit

We are learning in economics class the difference between marginal cost and benefit. Marginal cost is the price you pay (be it a dollar amount, or emotional price) to obtain a certain "good". The benefit is the satisfaction this item gives you. In order to figure this out you must weigh your options:
Can you afford this item?
Are you willing to pay the price?
Is sacrificing something for it going to be worth it?
It's an easy enough concept, but I'm not talking just a new pair of pumps here. If you really think about how we have to make these choices in real life...well, fuck, it gets hard.
I moved to Boston thinking that my benefit would 100% outweigh my cost. I'd be working more, in school full time, and miss seeing my closest sister-friends. However, I would be gaining an education, the chance to see my family all the time, the opportunity to meet new people, have more things to do, more options, even the shopping and food is better here.
I did not, however, take into consideration the other price I would pay.
Making a big change in life is wonderful, it is very rare we have a large support system to help us along with these choices. But what happens when you feel like this change has really CHANGED you? How do you learn to readjust to the new world you have created? What if it changes all the things that seemed constant and perfect? Can we then come full circle (as everything does in life) and find ourselves again? Maybe "full circle" only comes into play when things stay the same, and you ride them out; if we "change" the path...can this still happen for us?